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Woody, Dylan Farrow

6 Feb

I named my first cat after Woody Allen. Cat’s name was Woody. Yes, this post is about pussy. Pleasure. Psychoanalysis. Problems.

I say often, “I come from a family straight out of a Woody Allen movie.” And note to self, might want to switch that up moving forward.  But it’s true: neurosis in the blood, spirals of self obsession, and Joan Didion nailed it in her 1979 Letter from Manhattan when she writes about Woody.

And then, this too:

“Woody Allen often tells interviewers that his original title for Annie Hall was “Anhedonia,” which is a psychoanalytic term meaning the inability to experience pleasure. “

Everybody’s talking about An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow.

Pleasure. Psychoanalysis. Problems.

Girls.

Of course Lena Dunham and Ann Friedman believe Dylan.

Girl’s girls. Women. Men. Men can believe Woody is wrought with sickness. This can be a gender neutral support of Dylan. I don’t need to spool through a litany of legal. Hashtag Woody Allen on twitter is trending, whatever.

He married his daughter. Moved from father to lover. It’s in his blood, the addict, the narcissist. It’s all about him. For him to insert himself into. His movies, his children.

Wikipedia says:

Narcissism is a term that originated with Narcissus in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Currently it is used to describe the pursuit of gratification from vanity, or egotistic admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, that derive from arrogant pride. 

I read her words, and for days after, and I could not get the images out of my head. Heartbreaking transgression. So descriptive, so interior, do the nay-sayers think she got with a strategic marketing group to brainstorm the following:

“I didn’t like it when he would stick his thumb in my mouth. I didn’t like it when I had to get in bed with him under the sheets when he was in his underwear. I didn’t like it when he would place his head in my naked lap and breathe in and breathe out. ”

When I think about Dylan I think about Clinton saying, That woman. 

Monica Lewinski had an affair with the President. She chose to have a cigar stuck inside her and she got off and he got off and then everyone got off. Monica chose. And then, was splayed. And ever since, she vanished. She was silenced. She is silent. And somehow, during all of this, people hated Hillary.  Somehow, public sentiment towards the Hilz and Monica was so negative, while for Bill, not so much.

It’s different here. Sort of.

Dylan did not have an affair with her Dad. Dylan was a child in an unsafe home, and it just so happens her father has power in Hollywood, almost like a President.

Dylan tells us. She is not going to be silent anymore. I stand by and believe Dylan Farrow.

Not so sorry, Slate . The evidence?

An addict’s tracks. Track record. Sex-addict. If you find and fuck one daughter I wholeheartedly believe that you’ve pointed yourself towards another daughter to Play it Again Sam.

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Underbelly, Ananda: Bliss is Another, and Another – Swami Kriyananda AKA J. Donald Walters’ Transgressions

2 Jul

Ford Theatre, Los Angeles. June 24, 2012

Gorgeous Day, Gorgeous Friend.

We sat in the sun and spoke of manifestation as businesswomen, as spiritual seekers, of men and of dating.

Anticipation. We’re gonna hear something awesome.

 

A fierce Marianne Williamson came on stage and she had leopard print heels on. She had a tight-fitting black skirt, and was wearing a tailored white blazer, wearing a tailored white blazer the way only Angelenos do right.

She for sure came East from the Westside, thinking she made a turn on Cahuenga, a Return to Love towards this amphitheatre, to announce Swami Kriyananda AKA  J. Donald Walters- but I find it concerning, after I googled his name after the event.

There was reason to. The second thing I see is that this bad ass spiritual woman with so much truth, she was here for product endorsement, AKA J. Donald Walters.

Then a bunch of popsicle people came on stage. In the program it stated that they were here to perform a song called Memories, their name: The Joy Singers. They were dressed in gowns in popsicle color, folks  super pasty-faced and earnest, in golden-yellow, purple, teal gowns, making a half circle, a rainbow brite boomerang of song.

There was a very large image on a very large placard on stage – not of the highly revered book Autobiography of a Yogi – 

an autobiography written by Paramahansa Yogananda in 1946 but of  Swami Kriyananda AKA J. Donald Walters’ new book, Paramhansa Yogananda: A Biography by Swami Kriyananda, where he chronicles living with and studying with Paramahansa Yogananda.  

I know, that’s  a lot  of info there. Paragraphs with multi-syllable words make me glaze over, too.

Essentially there is a true spiritual teacher Paramahansa Yogananda above,

and then a guy who followed him –  Swami Kriyananda AKA J. Donald Walters:

a guy who I am positive had his own very true and real spiritual awakening, and then because of who he is, well, some other stuff went down as well.

That other stuff, he did not talk about during this event, which was essentially his book launch ho-down, but that stuff, this is what all that internets research was for and what I’ve pieced together here.

Oh those summer pops, they sang of  beautiful fountains and light of the heavens  in an alienating way that only church-harmony can achieve, and the J. Donald Walters told a story where he wast at a garden party in Beverly Hills where there were many celebrities, and Paramahansa Yogananda broke it down and spoke on Yoga and the Divine.

Yes, we learned were here to see and hear Swami Kriyananda AKA J. Donald Walters speak to his absolution, when we came seeking our own transcendence, or at least an inspiring day out under the white light of sun LA.

Picture perfect.

And then, it’s a representative who is here from the Office of  Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa’s Office, and the representative is now on stage.

Politics and spirituality, how rad!

And she said, this here is a Certificate for You, (Swami Kriyananda AKA J. Donald Walters), For All of Your Work, a Framed Letter of Acknowledgement from The Mayor of Los Angeles. For everything  you do. 

I looked at the gorgeous trees behind the rag-tag gang on this collision course  of an outdoor stage and there was pine and brush, unhindered, swaying, wild and natural, full of yes full of unhindered truth of the universal divine, which has or requires no SKU, no certification from the Mayor of Los Angeles, no product endorsement Maryanne W.

Writing this blog is hard sometimes. In terms of the mainstream- I need to get HBO go so I can watch Girls and write about something that sounds interesting and awesome to write about, inspiring. BTW if you have any books or films you’d like me to review, let me know.

Ok, so then all of a sudden,  Swami Kriyananda AKA J. Donald Walters  announces some guy called Jon Parsons. He looks like Rodney Dangerfield by way of Breaking Bad. The shit’s just a bit rumpled.

And I knew Christopher Guest was just about to come out on set, I mean stage, to re-direct this scene, try some more improv or something to get the arc of the story just right, because all of a sudden, out of the blue,

he’s saying….see, here, see I am Ananda’s lawyer, and see, I’ve been with this group now for ’bout 17 years, and see, even when I didn’t think I’d be able to fight and win against the sex scandal, the sex case, the sex charges, well, I did, and we won, and I’ve now, I’ve now got a book, and it’s for sale there on the table and it’s called, it’s called: A Fight For Religious Freedom.

…um, sex scandal?

Ok.

So in 1920 Paramahansa Yogananda founded the Self-Realization Fellowship and in 1925 he established in LA the international headquarters for SRF. In 1962  J. Donald Walters, was pushed out of the Los Angeles-based fellowship and in 1968, he established a new community, Ananda, in the Sierra Nevada foothills town of Nevada City, Calif.

Ananda – meaning, perfect bliss. 

And according to the LA Times, in 1998, a jury found J. Donald Walters liable for “constructive fraud” and “intentional infliction of emotional distress” in a civil case brought by a former Ananda member.

A few minutes later Swami Kriyananda AKA  J. Donald Walters he was expounding on some kind of spiritual jazz and he straight up told us he got LASIK surgery for his eyes, and so now his vision is 20/20.

Totally, surgery can really fix stuff.

Now. There’s a site, and it’s called Ananda Wareness Network.

And that event back in 1998 – well, verbaitum: a jury found in the civil case brought by a former Ananda member, Anne-Marie Bertolucci, who said that Kriyananda, while claiming to be a celibate swami, had engaged in sexual misconduct. The jury also found Ananda liable for failing to control its leader’s behavior. During the trial, seven other women also testified that Kriyananda had abused them.


SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF SAN MATEO
ANNE-MARIE BERTOLUCCI, Plaintiff, vs.
ANANDA CHURCH OF SELF REALIZATION, a California not-for-profit corporation; CRYSTAL CLARITY PUBLISHING, a California corporation; DANNY LEVIN, individually and ) as an employee of CRYSTAL CLARITY PUBLISHING and/or ANANDA CHURCH OF SELF REALIZATION; DONALD J. WALTERS, individually, and an employee of ANANDA CHURCH OF SELF REALIZATION and CRYSTAL CLARITY PUBLISHING; DOES 1 to 50; 

Woman 1:

13. After several months of giving “Swami” massages, including full body massages, he requested that both I and XXXXX give him a massage at the same time. Until this point, I had given him ordinary massages with no sexual nuances whatsoever. This time, however, it changed. The “Swami” was downstairs in the bedroom on the floor. As I massaged the “Swami’s” neck, to my great surprise. XXXXX began to sexually stimulate his penis, from erection to ejaculation. 

Woman 2: 

12. He offered me a ride from the farm to Ayodhya. I gladly took it, viewing personal time with him as a positive to the spiritual regeneration of my soul. During the ride, he asked me to come down to his house. I went, he asked me to give him a back rub,  in his upper room in the dome part of his house. I did gladly, although I felt very shy, and uneasy, never having been so physically close to him before. He asked me to straddle his back in order to access his shoulders properly. In a few moments he asked me to take off my clothes, as they were irritating his skin, while I gave him the backrub. I was extremely surprised, but, he said some things which assure me, making me feel that he was a pure channel of God and that I had no cause for uneasiness. I took off my clothes, and he then had me resume the back rub.

I didn’t read through the other 5 accounts, no reason to.

I told a friend about the event, and it’s true, he’s right, this is nothing new. From here we can swing on over to the Catholic Church, and then make a pit stop at Penn State.

The verdict of the case:  Walters was judged to have misrepresented himself as a monk, and to have caused Bertolucci emotional trauma, and was ordered to pay $285,000 in compensatory damages, and another $1 million in punitive damages. (On appeal, the punitive damages were reduced to $400,000.) A sexual harassment claim was dismissed before the case went to the jury.

People gather. They come to pray, they come to play. Seeking in a group, a group seeking. A sneak peeking.

Leaders and followers. Number one. Popsicles for everyone.

We didn’t know what we were getting into by going to the event. Expressions: A wounded man, a wounded organization. Before, after.

People they want to connect.  And then there is that lumbering. The lumbering that comes, when people are needing healing, healing from being so open.

So open to something other than themselves, themselves, looking outward, and up, up to those who have failed in every way to be trustworthy, worthy of that hand over of power, hands all over by those who have succeeded in getting their own base needs met.

The expense of quest: spiritual, sport.

Honestly, it has taken me a while to write this blog because I found the whole event really heartbreaking.

The un-oblique PR stunt energy of it all, the Mayor of LA’s presence (How is it approproate for a award from the mayor to be there? How was that arrangement made?), the questions now I have about  Maryanne Willaimson now and her relationship to the Ananda organization, and dollars – the dollars that are always assumed as the antidote.

From J. Donald Walters’ to Dr. Emmett L. ‘Doc’ Brown in Back to the Future,

Flux Capacitor, Williamson, Villaraigosa turning that clock back now with a Hollywood reference.

Hollywood pastiche, pastiche what a word, pistachio, what a nut, and God, God bless you.

It’s that open window of belief–

how it gets so heavily taxed.

It’s that open window of belief–

how it gets so heavily taxed.

Un-innocuous money -like it has any bearing,
restorative powers

a return of the innocence, back

trying and

everything here just another SoCal cliché.

On Speech: On Coming – The Vagina / The Feminist

19 Jun

The ACLU summed it up perfectly:

In a place of government, in the middle of our country, a woman’s voice, a politician, a State Representative Lisa Brown, of the State of Michigan, was silenced by House Republicans because she said the word “vagina” on the floor. Vagina on the floor.

She was making a speech against a bill that would restrict abortions. The next day, House Republicans would not let her speak her opinion on a school employee retirement bill. It was retaliation.

Here is the video:

This is what she said to close her speech on abortion:

“Finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.'” 

This is what he said:

“What she said was offensive,” said Rep. Mike Callton, R-Nashville. “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”

It’s pussy, Rep. Mike Callton’s saying, shut-up, it’s pussythat’s what it is, in non mixed company, lady.

And you’re, you’re a feminist a really really bad word, lady, for saying vagina, I mean how offensive can you get. 

Whateves. We get it, cowboy. Hi-dee-HO.

Yup, ho, he’s saying, that’s another one, lady, take the cotton out of your ears and put them in your mouth, and, well, your you know what when you got to, and just sit down and sit tight, you mam, you, and your vagina, while we figure out what we’re gonna do with it. 

Ok. And of course a wonderful retort happened today. On the steps of the capital tonight – Rep. Lisa Brown, with playwright Eve Ensler in toe, and over 3000 others attending – yes in mixed company read from Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. 

I have two copies of The Vagina Monologues, one of which is signed by Eve Ensler, from back in the day. That book gave voice to women. Women speaking about their vaginas. The book gave me alot of hope and inspiration.

Bless you, bless your vagina, she wrote.

And if you remember, just a few weeks back, some guy decided to stop dating me because he found the word feminist offensive.  He noted to me that in fact he saw no need for feminism, alluding to the fact that things are all quite easy and all between everyone.

To align one’s self with the vagina, does that mean one is a feminist?

Vaginas – it’s all based around coming. Coming out of. Coming to. Just cumming. Western culture, global: from sea to shining….

Vagina. See:

come

come   [kuhm]  verb, came, come, com·ing, noun

verb (used without object)
1.
to approach or move toward a particular person or place: Come here. Don’t come any closer!
2.
to arrive by movement or in the course of progress: The train from Boston is coming.
3.
to approach or arrive in time, in succession, etc.: Christmas comes once a year. I’ll come to your question next.
4.
to move into view; appear.
5.
to extend; reach: The dress comes to her knees.
6.
to take place; occur; happen: Success comes to those who strive.
7.
to occur at a certain point, position, etc.: Tuesday comes after Monday. Her aria comes in the third act.
8.
to be available, produced, offered, etc.: Toothpaste comes in a tube.
9.
to occur to the mind: The idea just came to me.
10.
to befall: They promised no harm would come to us.
11.
to issue; emanate; be derived: Peaches come from trees. Good results do not come from careless work.
12.
to arrive or appear as a result: This comes of carelessness.
13.
to enter or be brought into a specified state or condition: to come into popular use.
14.
to do or manage; fare: She’s coming along well with her work.
15.
to enter into being or existence; be born: The baby came at dawn.
16.
to have been a resident or to be a native of (usually followed by from ): She comes from Florida.
17.
to become: His shoes came untied.
18.
to seem to become: His fears made the menacing statues come alive. The work will come easy with a little practice.
19.
(used in the imperative to call attention or to express impatience, anger, remonstrance, etc.): Come, that will do!
20.
to germinate, as grain.
21.
Informal . to have an orgasm.

I did a quick google search for “celebrity” and “panty” – and saw some amazing websites on shots of celebrity vagina, celebrity’s coming and going from one celebrity event to another, with their Gucci and Rodarte, their bodyguards, and their vaginas in toe, FYI.

And, I, like yourself, came out of a vagina. Yes, indeed. Germinate.

Coming. I remember when Madonna’s Like A Virgin  album came out. I remember asking my Mom, what is a virgin?  I remember looking at old Penthouse magazines from a friend’s father’s stash, when I was quite young. Oh yes, THAT, is a vagina. Those gals, in the pictures, yeah they were coming.

Coming from. I remember being disgusted, repulsed, by the word myself as a young girl. VA-GINE-A. It made me so disgusted. I hated the word. Precursor. Yes, I thought it to be offensive, too.  No, but not like saying the word penis. No, that did not make me disgusted at all. In the slightest. Wonder where those differing perspectives came from, maybe came out of Michigan, for example.

Came. When the time came, my mother got me an amazing book Period: A Girl’s Guide. Had the whole  Free To Be You And Me aesthetic going on. Gals being awesome, gals watering plants, making things, kicking around town, all on their periods and all, and rocking their awesome bad ass selves, zooming into womanhood. What a gift. Get it for your girl. She’s gonna need it.

The shocking thing 2012, is that a woman was punished and not allowed to speak, in America, in a house of government, she was punished for speaking a word that describes the female anatomy and thus not allowed to speak again, in a house of government, because she used such a word. We need not only Feminists but men who do not identify as feminists to take notice of this, yes such an offensive and unabashed reveal of misogyny.

Bless you, bless your vagina, she wrote.

God bless America, and God bless all the vaginas.

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