Tag Archives: Ryan Bowers

The Bachelorette – What We Can Learn from Emily Maynard, A Class Act

4 Jul

The Bachelorette. The show is like cotton candy. Fluffy and pink. Super sugary.

You are left at the end of each episode a bit empty, and wanting more.

A perfect product.

I stand by my first critique of the show, which is how the producers set it up with the highly sexualized tuck in at bedtime, and the horse riding, et al.

But my hat is off to Emily Maynard. When I think about all the young gals watching, I truly do think that Emily Maynard is an excellent role model.

She really has charmed me, has taught me, and has chosen excellent guys as her last 3. She, by her beingness, has set the tone for the show, how the guys treat her, and how she is depicted by the editors and the show itself. She is on par with Ali Fedotowsky, perhaps even exceeding her. The similarities of Ali and Emily are clear: witty, wise, authentic, classy, level-headed, vulnerable, and sassy awesome gals!

What We can Learn from Emily Maynard:

1. She knows what she wants.

She has made it clear from the get-go that she is seeking a lifetime partner and provider for herself and her daughter. Period. She has also made it clear that she is looking for a loving and playful relationship. She said at the top of a list of characteristics she is seeking is: laughter.

2. She teaches others how to treat her – She won’t put up with any BS.

When Kalon said that her daughter is essentially “baggage” – she found out and called him out on it, and told him to go. She didn’t go all back woods West Virgina  on him, as she had said she wanted to.  She pointedly asked him if he had anything to say for himself, and he didn’t really, and so she just told him to go.

Then she was indeed a bit dazzled by Ryan’s (disgusting) “charm” but recognized that she felt unsafe with him – particularly due to a collection of red flag ridiculous comments from him such as him referencing her as a trophy wife, and saying if they are  married and she puts on a few pounds he just might not love on her as much  or something to that effect.

When he said he wanted a trophy  wife – she had called him out on it, saying,

“Well, trophies don’t speak back.”

 What she was saying in her Southern accent was:

Oh, so you want a submissive silent beauty, huh?

Well, that ain’t me. 

And so off he and his massive ego went crying in that little black limo.

With the whole “baggage” comment by Kalon, she was hurt by Arie in particular, because she felt a special connection with him, and thought that he would have had her back, and would have told her and/or said something/confronted Kalon. She told him this directly, that she is looking for a man who has her back, and by doing so she taught him that there are consequences for not standing by your woman. The next few episodes we see Ari kind of having a come-to-God revelation he just might lose the woman he is falling in love with if he does not man up  and protect her and stand by her, choosing the woman over the fear of speaking up and disrupting harmony and potentially losing the boys. Hoes before bros, yo.

3.  She takes up space by being self-assured and charming – She does not lead with her sexuality.

I’m still traumatized by last season when that little gal got on Ben’s lap and tried to seduce him. OMG. And as I’ve  noted, Courtney really did  do seduction right – and I love her for it. But we see the damage in her, by her leading with pure sex.

Emily is the antithesis – and I think of all of the other Bachelorettes, she has really shown America not how a women sexually seduces a man, or leads with insecurity and craves male validation such as Ashley Hebert,  but how a woman incites love in the male heart.

She does this by knowing she is worth everything she wants.

She does this by knowing she is valuable, loveable, special, feminine, and fabulous.

She waits and watches their actions.

She checks in with herself to see how she feels when she is around them.

She contemplates – does he have the capacity to make me and Ricki happy?

This knowingness is reflected in her behavior towards herself, and also in the confidence and kindness she expresses towards the guys.

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